Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Relationship paradigms ...

Indian salesmen keep surprising me.
Apart from the (unnecessary and annoying) phones I receive every day, some typical phonecalls are always coming after a first contact by mail has been made with Indian companies with whom there never was any other contact before.

Mainly the prompt and immediate expression of their desire to build "a long-term relationship" is felt as hilarious.
I think Indians don't understand really that Europeans are not going into a long-term relationship without having satisfying sex first!
Without having sufficient and satisfying small job results, there will be no co-operation on long term.

Such a phonecall could sound like this:

Ring Ring

With Tony.

— Hi Sir, how are you?

Hi Sir, I’m XXXX from YYYY. We have send you an offer two days back and we did not hear from you yet. And I phone to hear when the project will be assigned to us.
Assigned to you? Well, we don’t even know if that job will be assigned to us. So how can you ask me to tell you when it will be assigned to you?

— OK Sir, but we need to plan our projects in. Could you please tell me when you plan to send that job to us?
My friend, I really cannot say anything about it, but if you really insist I propose second half of 2014. Is that OK with you?

Yes Sir. But … can’t this be scheduled for 2012? This would definitely work better for the both of us!
I can even give you a good discount by then …
That’s OK for me, you can plan it in.

— Thanks Sir. May I ask you when we can have our meeting then?
What meeting?

— Well Sir, I would like to meet you and discuss a longterm relationship with you.
Oh, euh … but … you know … I’m already married for 30 years.

— Oh really Sir? That is so nice. Do you have kids?
Yes … even 4 of them …

— Very nice Sir. Then when could we see eachother? To start our longterm relationship, Sir.
Why do you think I would be interested in a longterm relationship with your company?

— Oh, but Sir, for the mutual benefits and the embetterment of our companies.